"We judge others by their behaviors but judge ourselves by our intentions" Unknown
I saw this quote as I was going about my morning. I thought on that for a moment. What does this quote even mean? Ideally it means that we judge others by a different standard than we do ourselves. Why on earth would we do that? I really think the simple answer is to keep ourselves better than the others in our lives who experience less than us. We tend to judge and criticize those around us to keep our own feelings of not good enough alive. What we see in others we see in ourselves including the good and the not so good along with it.
It is also common to allow disconnection from others around us. There is also a chance you may feel connected or part of something if one or more than one person has the same judgments as you do. This type of twin connection can be short lived or full of conflict. you may end up judging the other person behind their back yourself or to others when they are not around them and this allows the relationship itself to become unsafe or toxic.
If we want to be considered by our intentions then why the heck is it so hard to consider others people for theirs? So many things in our memories can keep us from seeing people for who they really are. Just like us! They have the same feelings, pains, and similar experiences. They have the same wants and desire to be loved and accepted. Humans are funny that way always starving for connection but judging others to stay out of it. When we really start to look at ourselves is when we can really start to look at others and see that we are all the same. When you are really ready to look at yourself and have the tools to do things differently you can change your world! If this sounds all too familiar to you, give me a call.